Making Toast

A Touching Tribute from Father to Daughter (2010-07-29) : 4/5
In Roger Rosenblatt's touching book, Making Toast, we get an insider view to the aftermath of an event no parent ever hopes to experience: the death of a child.

Seasoned journalist Rosenblatt's daughter, Amy, died of a rare condition--an anomalous right coronary artery. Normally the heart's two main arteries are found one on each side, and if one stops working the other can do the work for both; in Amy's case they both ran alongside each other. The doctors in the situation said she could have died at any time, but Amy had a chance to live a fairly full life--she was 38 at the time of her death on Dec. 8, 2007, a pediatrician, wife of a prominent hand surgeon, and mother to three young children.

Immediately after Amy's death Rosenblatt and his wife, Ginny, move in to help Amy's husband, Harrison, take care of the kids. Rosenblatt describes the paradox of the situation: the jarring reality that has become the family's new life and the normality that quickly follows the horror of death. From his writing style we get a very real sense of how he must spend most of his time, splitting it between thinking about his precious baby girl's childhood and adulthood and also trying to balance the demands of three grandchildren.

Throughout the book Rosenblatt alternates between scenes from Amy's childhood and early adulthood, memories of the days immediately following her death, and his daily adventures in taking care of the grandkids. These adventures go from the mundane--being the special guest in his granddaughter's classroom--to the heartbreaking--the children having an emotional scare when Ginny chokes during a meal. It is at moments like these when the effect of Amy's death on the children is most evident, and no one can do anything except help the children understand that everything actually will be okay. No one will die this time.

Rosenblatt clearly appreciates the opportunity to be with the children, but he hates the method by which this opportunity has come. His recollections are by turns loving and slightly befuddled at what to do with the children, emotions that all parents can relate to. The difference is that Rosenblatt is getting the chance to live these experiences a second time around. A saving grace for him is that he can see glimmers of Amy in the kids, and so through them he can hold on to Amy in the only way a parent can when he loses a child.

The book is a short one at first glance--the hardback comes in at a mere 166 pages. Parts of the book first appeared in serialized form in The New Yorker, and the full version follows a magazine-style format. For that reason the entries aren't necessarily chronological, and that choice of style coupled with the gravity of the subject matter could require a second or third perusal before readers fully grasp what Rosenblatt is saying. But he starts and ends with a positive note, and his book could be a comfort to other parents or even grandparents living in his situation. Making Toast is a must read.
"I wake up earlier than the others, usually around 5am to perform the one household duty I have mastered. I prepare toast." (2010-07-13) : 5/5
A brilliant little novel with insight, humor and a stirring tribute to the author's daughter who died unexpectedly in 2007. Rosenblatt has the ability to make the reader marvel in the mundane. We get to know not only the author but his daughter as he and his wife move in to help the bereaved husband and children of Amy. Everyday as they live her life, taking the kids to school, market, friends houses, classes and lessons Roger and Ginny get to hear and remember the impact their daughter had on so many lives. Never self indulgent or sad, this book is uplifting in the face of grief and honest in it's assessment of life without a loved one. Written in a diary like style, it focuses on the day to day without a loved one and the unexpected joys and sorrows that brings over a two year time. Wonderful!
Beautiful tribute to family (2010-07-08) : 5/5
This is the story of Rosenblatt and his wife coming to the aid of their son-in-law and grandchildren after their daughter dies unexpectedly. While the premise is definitely sad, this book is very uplifting.

First of all, it reminds all of us that life does go on. No matter what happens in our lives, time does not stop, although I know we often wish it would.

The three young children will still need to be bathed, fed, and loved. So Rosenblatt and his wife move in with the family to try and help keep the household going. The children are too young, for the most part, to understand the death of their mother, but the three adults are struggling with their grief. Yet, they try to keep a routine for the children.

Second of all, the story reminds us that others have gone through such a tragedy before and have lived through it. In fact, it's the nanny who tells them: You are not the first to go through such a thing and you are able to handle it better than most.

I know that we each feel grief on an individual basis. But I have often found comfort in the idea that others have been through "this" (whatever it is at the time) and have managed to move on with their lives.

Death can often tear a family apart. It is a beautiful testimony to this family that they instead were able to come together.

To Amy, with all due respect. (2010-07-03) : 2/5
I read through Rosenblatt's self-serving treatise in a few hours. It starts out with an emotional punch: his 38 year old daughter, Amy ("A"), vivacious, gregarious, loving, accomplished physician, wife and mother, dies instantly of a heart anomaly. O.K., I'm hooked, and read on, and get misty eyed, until Rosenblatt whips out his "guest list," including several ad nauseum bows to "O;" thereby negating the purpose of the book. Roger, if this tribute is for Amy (A), why didn't you place her photograph on the dedication page? And why didn't you keep your political bent out of this otherwise touching memoir? I toss away this book, not with a happy glow of Amy, but with Rosenblatt's and his editor's gratuitous and debasing kowtow to politics. Fortunately, this was a library book, and not one I'd spend a dime on.
A Family Redefines Itself (2010-06-24) : 4/5
After the death of their thirty seven year old daughter, Amy, from an asymptomatic heart condition, Roger Rosenblatt and his wife Ginny move in with Amy's husband Harris and their three children. While snapshots of Amy's life are given throughout the book, the primary focus is on how the grandparents adapt to the new roles they have as primary caregivers to their grandchildren. Having moved from their house in Quogue on the south shore of Long Island to Bethesda, Maryland where Amy lived, they take on the daily tasks of raising children. Roger walks the eldest child Jessie to the bus stop, where he realizes that among all the young mothers, he is the only one there with gray hair. Ginny attends to the daily routines like getting the children out of bed, making their lunches, taking them to school, piano lessons, and play dates with their friends. Roger's specialty is making the toast. He knows just how each child likes it. Through Amy's death they learn just how many lives Amy touched in her own short life. It also brings them closer to people they have long lost contact with and they learn even more about their friends, who have also experienced death in their own tragic ways. This book is ultimately a redefinition of family and how they come together to make it through the darkest of times.